I know this is a bad thing, but i don't know why my brain doesn't gets brainwashed!

Prolly these bullshit has been said to me when it was the third day of school and it was a super strong stupid bleach!

Stupid Ian! Lecturers and whatever nonsense that they have said to me and my class about the high rate of failure and having to retake modules many times!

i also have the mentality that after the first test if i fail, during the second test i will do well cos i will have more time. But wts! Im always in the slagging mood, does that mean i actually have to go and work to get the feeling of studying back? Should I? Prolly i should find a part time job. Like working on sat and suns! 

Im being a bitch to my wallet also, keep thinking of things to buy i need to know how to appreciate the things that i have seriously...

I kinda want this phase psyco me seriously! I have dreams and yupp, many are unrealistic. I have dreams of becoming an idol but, i've got nothing, no looks, no brains.  Prolly after all these shit exams that i have, my self esteem are duper down. I wasn't who i am ever since in entered this fking Uni!

May someone bring my self esteem back please, give me back my study drive, attitude and determination!

XOXO tata! LilMY